Life without Television

Contrary to popular belief, it was not at all bad.  The Reverend William Barnes makes this abundantly clear in his poem ‘A Bit o’ Fun’. 

Rev Barnes, living as he did in pre-Industrial Revolution Dorset in southwestern England, is a kinsman of the South.  For many Southerners came from this area to their new homes in Virginia and elsewhere.  The landly speechways and subject matter in his various poems are therefore similar to what one finds in Southern literature.

May we be so blessed as to find ourselves once again with neighborhoods and families as close and joyful as those Rev Barnes portrayed in ‘A Bit o’ Fun’:

We thought you woulden leäve us quite

So soon as what you did last night;

Our fun jist got up to a height

As you about got hwome.

The friskèn chaps did skip about,

An' cou'se the maïdens in an' out,

A-meäkèn such a randy-rout,

You coulden hear a drum.

An' Tom, a-springèn after Bet

Blind-vwolded, whizz'd along, an' het

Poor Grammer's zide, an' overzet

Her chair, at blind-man's buff;

An' she, poor soul, as she did vall,

Did show her snags o' teeth an' squall,

An' what, she zaid, wer wo'se than all,

She shatter'd all her snuff.

An' Bet, a-hoppèn back vor fear

O' Tom, struck uncle zomewhere near,

An' meäde his han' spill all his beer

Right down her poll an' back;

An' Joe, in middle o' the din,

Slipt out a bit, an' soon come in

Wi' all below his dapper chin

A-jumpèn in a zack.

An' in a twinklèn tother chaps

Jist hung en to a crook wi' straps,

An' meäde en bear the maïdens' slaps,

An' prickens wi' a pin.

An' Jim, a-catchèn Poll, poor chap,

In back-house in the dark, vell slap

Athirt a tub o' barm,—a trap

She set to catch en in.

An' then we zot down out o' breath,

An' meäde a circle roun' the he'th,

A-keepèn up our harmless me'th,

Till supper wer a-come.

An' after we'd a-had zome prog,

All tother chaps begun to jog,

Wi' sticks to lick a thief or dog,

To zee the maïdens hwome.

Source:  http://www.gutenberg.org/files/21785/21785-h/21785-h.htm#page106, accessed 3 Feb. 2014

For help understanding the Dorset tongue, a word-hoard and list of letter sounds are available here:  http://www.gutenberg.org/files/21785/21785-h/21785-h.htm#page459