Monday, November 7, 2022

Offsite Post: ‘Mike the Trucker’

 

In the fifth year of universal tolerance

(The year of our Lord twenty-thirty-six),

Mike the simple trucker man transgressed the law,

Yelling out instinctively, ‘Help me, Jesus!’

As he dove to the dirt to avoid being crushed

By a loose, rolling trailer.  Brought before

The Human Resources Director, he was asked

To confirm his fidelity

To the Global Religious Creed,

That all beliefs are equally true.

‘No ma’am, I won’t,’ he said plainly, calmly,

To Director Strokeland.  And she irately,

‘We will make you!’  She summoned Ari

From the Tech Department, tasking him

To construct a brain-machine interface

That would extract the right confession

From the mouth of the loathsome trucker.

But as he began to build his torture tool,

Mike began to pray:  ‘Lord Jesus Christ,

Have mercy on me, a sinner.’

And, lo!  The parts of the BMI

Would not stay joined, and Ari’s hands turned numb.

Frightened, he cried out, . . .

The rest is at https://www.newenglishreview.org/articles/mike-the-trucker/.

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Holy Ælfred the Great, King of England, South Patron, pray for us sinners at the Souð, unworthy though we are!

Anathema to the Union!

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