In a surprise move, Louisiana Surgeon General Ralph Abraham announced his resignation, and Governor Landry appointed Hosshead Jacques to replace him.
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Surprised at the news, y’all? Think how it hit me! Like a dirt clod upside de head!
But Poppa Landry explained it all real good, sez he wants an outsider, like Securtairy Kennedy up ‘ere in DC, to take the reins. Well, sez I, as I spend most of my days out of doors on bayous and in the woodlands, gatherin’ some meat for my table, I spec I’m as fit for the job as anyone.
My first duty in office is to give the Si Bon Award to Poppa Landry for banning soft drink buys wif ‘em welfare checks. We come across a pretty sharp feller, name of Dr Mercola, who had some interestin’ things to say about them thar:
‘More than 63% of U.S. adults drink at least one sugar-sweetened beverage daily, rapidly disrupting gut bacteria, weakening immune defenses, and damaging the gut barrier at a genetic level.
‘Researchers found that the sugar in soda flips bacterial DNA “switches” within days, changing immune signals and gut wall strength, but stopping sugar reverses these effects quickly.
‘Artificial sweeteners in diet sodas alter gut microbe balance, lower diversity, and promote inflammatory bacteria, harming immunity and metabolism even without sugar or calories.
‘Inorganic phosphate in soda absorbs into the bloodstream nearly 100%, spiking hormones that deplete calcium, suppress vitamin D, stress the kidneys, and harden the arteries.
‘Sugar and phosphate together create a rapid, sustained metabolic storm, undermining gut health, hormone balance, and cardiovascular function from multiple angles at once.’
Phew! That’s a mouthful! But we’d rather have a mouthful of fresh buttery biscuit drizzled with some natrul honey than guzzle – what’d he call it? – inorganic phosphate, and them other sorry things.
The other award we gots to hand out goes to Siniter Cassidy. That knothaid gets the Golden Dunce Award for claimin’ there’s nary a bit ov evidence linkin’ autism to Tylenol. But how’s he explainin’ all this?
- ‘A 2025 review by scientists from Harvard, Mount Sinai and other major institutions published in BMC Environmental Health that examined 46 previous studies and found that most studies — especially the high-quality studies – showed an association between prenatal acetaminophen use and ADHD, autism and other neurological disorders.
- ‘A 2019 Johns Hopkins Bloomberg School of Public Health study published in JAMA Psychiatry that analyzed data from the Boston Birth Cohort, a 20-year study of early life factors influencing pregnancy and child development. The researchers found that exposure to acetaminophen in the womb may increase a child’s risk for ADHD or autism. They concluded, “Appropriate and immediate steps should be taken to advise pregnant women to limit acetaminophen consumption to protect their offspring’s neurodevelopment.”
- ‘A 2019 observational study published in the American Journal of Epidemiology that analyzed data on nearly 9,000 children born between 1993-2005 to women enrolled in the Nurses’ Health Study II cohort. The researchers found a link between prenatal acetaminophen use and ADHD.
- ‘A 2021 consensus statement that was based on a comprehensive review of experimental and epidemiological literature published between 1995-2020 in the PubMed scientific database. The authors noted that acetaminophen is an endocrine disruptor that can cross the blood-brain barrier and that they found evidence that it may alter neurodevelopment.’
Maybe ol’ Cassidy been spendin’ too much time with the AI chatterboxes; maybe he startin’ to halloosinate like ‘em.
Which reminds me, we got some labelin’ to do for those ‘uns. New Suhjen Ginrul’s warnins and all that. The AI chatdoodles are causin’ people to crack their gourds and go plum crazy:
. . .
The rest is at https://thehayride.com/2025/09/garlington-the-suhjen-ginruls-warnins/.
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Holy Ælfred the Great, King of England, South Patron, pray for us sinners at the Souð, unworthy though we are!
Anathema to the Union!
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