‘Down the Aisles’

Down the aisles they go,

Looking o’er the finest goods

A factory can furnish:

The spicy Dorito,

And the orange-dyed Cheeto;

Black-and-white Oreo,

Whose sugars cannot stand against

The velvety-soft circus peanut;

A cracker of wheat grown lovingly

With glyphosate

And baked affectionately

With EDTA;

The ecosystem nourished

By packs of gummy worms,

The fluorescent bulbs above

And concrete slab beneath;

Where the temperature holds

At a chilly sixty-eight

No matter what the calendar says,

And the seasonal flow

They indicate

With a pumpkin plasticate;

Its perfect product,

The ever-angered

Fluid-gender

Self-worshipper.

--

Holy Ælfred the Great, King of England, South Patron, pray for us sinners at the Souð, unworthy though we are!

Anathema to the Union!